Several women have written on Medium about their sexless marriages with men who didn't want to have sex. This said, sexless marriages seem to be most often a result of the wife not wanting sex, or as one poster wrote, just lying there and not taking part just to get it over with.

I don't believe in God, but if I did I might believe that God was a trickster with a bitter sense of humor.

God: "Ok, ok... here's the joke. I'm going to create two genders. One is going to want sex a lot and the other is only going to want sex at the start of the relationship. After that, no. It's going to be great! There's going to be all of this termoil and drama!"

A similar issue exists with sexual kink, where one partner wants to have sex in a particular way that the other partner doesn't want to indulge in.

In the end, the partner who wants an active, passionate sex life has to decide what is important to them.

Long-term marriages, especially in states like California, can be complicated and expensive to dissolve. Especially if there are children from the marriage. In the end, you are buying yourself a new life. You need to decide how important that is to you.

In my case, I didn't know how I would ever get through the divorce. I felt like I was standing on a hill, looking across at a range of hills going to the horizon. I didn't how I would cross all those hills, but I knew I would have to cross them, one at a time. I knew that someday, I would look back and I would have crossed all of the hills and be in a new life. The life I have now.

Going through the divorce was one of the most difficult and painful things that I have done. It took all of the courage I had. But I knew that this was the cost of a new life. A new life is an almost priceless gift, so I bore the cost. Part of the cost was that I was broke for several years and had continuing court costs.

As it turned out, my new life was better than I could have ever imagined.